Monday, February 10, 2014

Biden His Time

obama, obama jokes, biden, joe biden, 2016, idiot, conservative, tea party, stilton jarlsberg, politics, election, president, hope n' change, hope and change
In response to a question posed by one of the many voices in his head, Joe Biden declared last Friday that "there's no obvious reason for me why I think I shouldn't run for President in 2016."

Which suggests that he's suffering from an even greater degree of thought impairment than previously thought.

Among the "obvious reasons" he shouldn't run:  he hasn't been right on a foreign policy decision in decades, he believes that the 2nd Amendment requires people to shoot shotgun blasts into the air when they think there's a prowler in the house, he declared that Wall Street wants to put black Americans "back in chains," and he can't speak for 30 seconds without committing a major gaffe.

As further proof that Mr. Biden's brain has turned to watery tapioca, we share this unedited statement in which he presents his seemingly random thoughts about running: "I think the future for this country, I know people think I'm too optimistic, but it is incredible. There's so much just within our grasp. Doesn't mean I'm the only guy that can do it, but if no one else, I think, can, and I think I can, then I'd run. If I don't, I won't."

Seriously, we've seen more cohesive sentences created at random on a Scrabble board.

But perhaps the ultimate proof that Uncle Joe is missing an "obvious reason" not to run is that he didn't mention the possibility of ending up at the end of the long, long list of people who have died mysteriously after getting between the Clintons and their political goals.

For this reason, Hope n' Change sincerely hopes that Mr. Biden will reconsider his political ambitions after discussing them with someone who can give him good advice. For starters, he can try contacting Vince Foster with a Ouija board.


22 comments:

Geoff King said...

Considering Biden's history of plagiarism, it is surprising that he is not more eloquent. During his run for the '88 Presidential nomination he stole phrases, lines, and damn near entire speeches from the likes of British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock, Hubert Humphrey, Robert Kennedy, and JFK. Perhaps his current massacre of the English language can be attributed to HRH Obama's monopolization of all available tele-prompters. In his defense, perhaps the greatest thing that can be said of him is "at least he isn't Hillary".

Fred Ciampi said...

"I think I can, I hope I can, I think I can, I hope I can, I think I can think, I hope I can think, I think I can I think I can ......whoooooooo whoooooooooo chuga chuga shoga choga."

TrickyRicky said...

After that example of utterly incoherent babble, I can see his point. A Biden presidency would be a perfectly seamless transition from SCOAMF to SCOAMF II.

Judi King said...

I seriously doubt he'll be the Dems candidate, but hope he is because he's such a moron he couldn't possibly win. (At least I hope half the country isn't THAT stupid!)

Colby said...

Joe = the mind boggle that just keeps on boggling. Methinks there was one too many acid hits back in the day.

Joe has a snowball's chance in hell of beating Billary in the primarys, and that's even IF he managed to avoid assuming a "permanent horizontal position" until the winner was declared.

Let's face it folks, Billary is "it," no doubt about it. So let's keep pushing for a Republican alternative that isn't a stinking McCain clone or, God forbid, Chris Christie. (Is anybody else sick to death of the effing Democraps picking our candidate?) And whomever our candidate is, I hope they pound to death the "At this point, what does it matter?" bile that poured out of the little biotch's mouth.

Reiuxcat said...

It would be fun to see Hill's and Biden's attack dogs go after it.

Mike Porter said...

Stilton: I've always considered any events surrounding the Clintons to be par for the course; bodies will generally accumulate along the path of lowlife, power hungry scum. When those pigs appeared on Sixty Minutes to explain away their stench, I just knew that there was no way America would fall for such an obvious con. And so my faith for a better future got seriously shived come election day.

Judi King: hate to sound too pessimistic here, but I'm pretty sure that at least half of this country is indeed that stupid. And worse yet, it's been my experience that many folks who are very smart at what they do for a living are as well incredibly ignorant of all things outside of their professional purview... people capable of creating novel solutions to complex problems and yet have no historical perspective as concerns the present human condition. They would have you believe that American exceptionalism is the delusionary result of overblown and misplaced patriotism; that the extraordinary opportunities provided by such liberating ideals are the default setting of nature. To them, statist enroachment is not a threat since they have no learned, let alone direct, understanding of those places where tyranny can take an ignorant human herd - cold, dark and dreadful places where knowing nothing is actually a survival advantage.

The fact that Joe Biden is already second in command is a telling indicator in this regard.

American Cowboy said...

@ Judi King

Unfortunately half the country IS THAT stupid.
øbama proves that.

Anonymous said...

Biden will run. They have to pretend that someone is challenging Hitlery Cunton in the primaries. But rest assured, the communist socialist America-hating liberal media has already annointed Hitlery as the winner.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Was thinking about this the other day, and wondering, really, who else do they HAVE, other than (it is my TURN, Goddamit!)Hillary? Biden? Please, I'd love to see him in a debate w/ her (then again, he did OK w/ Sarah Palin). Lurch? REALLY? Put the Swifties up against Benghazi...? I don't see Pelosi or boxer having ANY traction outside of CA... Who else *is* there? Al Franken? John Boehner? (yeah, technically an R, for now, but...) Ohh maybe Colon Bowel, w/ Shrillary as VP - heh, yeah, THAT'd work...

Geoff King said...

Since Democrats excuse any and all flaws and transgressions of their candidates, as shown by the re-election of the sexual predator Bill Clinton and the worship of the current liar-in-chief, apparently half the country IS that stupid. As my sister, you must be aware that our own liberal brother would vote for Biden simply because he is not a Republican. If Jeffery Dahlmer had run on the Democratic ticket, he would most likely have gotten half the votes as well. Speaking as a Libertarian, I feel that voting along party lines for either the Republican or the Democrat candidate, just to keep the other from winning, shows extremely poor judgement. The lesser of two evils is still evil.

Sam L. said...

Oh, no, no, NO. Joe should run.
A--We need the amusement.
B--We need him to suck up some money that might otherwise go to someone who could win.

Judi King said...

As it looks now, Hillary will win their primary and, as you say, half this country IS stupid enough to vote for her. I only said I hoped it would be Biden because I can't believe even the low/no info voters and the brainwashed don't recognize a moron like Biden when they see one.

rickn8or said...

"Ohh maybe Colon Bowel, w/ Shrillary as VP - heh, yeah, THAT'd work... "

Shrillary's days of playing second banana are over.

Besides, how nervouse would you be as President with her as VP? T'were me, the first appointment I'd make would be Food Taster.

Colby said...

I beg to differ. Half the country ISN'T that stupid. I'd say MORE than half is that stupid because more than half elected a socialist, America hating, self-centers asswip to be president.... TWICE.

That being said, thunder-thighs IS going to be the candidate the DNC puts forth, so now we can start speculating just who she will tap for VP. It will have to be somebody who is a yes man, offers no opinion of his own, isn't worried about getting whacked, and will go along with any damn thing the boss says, no matter what.

Who fills the bill better than Joe? Am I wrong here? I mean, will Billary risk having someone a heartbeat away who is capable of thinking for even one second of what life might offer without her in the way?

Of course, there's also some other dim bulbs... Warren is one. And the guy (forgot his name) who was afraid an island might tip over. Chris Matthews would be a great VP choice for Billary. How about William "The Buffet Slayer" Barber?

Colby said...

Geez Colby... PROOFREAD!

PRY said...

According to many polls, most of the country sees Obama for what he is now, and are ready to move on, especially in light of the insurance debacle (actually, it is probably right on target)...but the media will not be any help at all, so it is still a real uphill battle to get a conservative type in the White House.

I feel that it doesn't matter WHO the dems run for prez, the media will lift them high, you can bet on that! But, who is it going to be on the republican ticket that can actually win...we are really coming up short there! With so much ammo to throw at a dem candidate you would think it would, you know, not be that hard, so I'm not getting my hopes up about anything!

JustaJeepGuy said...

When you consider that the mainstream news media jumped on the Obama bandwagon the instant he announced his candidacy--solely because they were tired of protecting Slick Willie, which they would have had to do if Hillary had been the real candidate--you might start to think the MSM just might be willing to let someone else run in '16. Or would that make too much sense?

WMD said...

You know, 40% of the time clueless joe is right 60% of the time.

graylady said...

"the long, long list of people who have died mysteriously after getting between the Clintons and their political goals."

You got that one right , Stilt. Anyone who doesn't understand the reference needs to search "The Clinton Dictatorship" an article from the DC Clothesline, last April, 2013, written by Gary Harper. Prepare to be stunned. Statistically, it is damned near impossible for one couple to have this many dead people associated with them, with no funny business going on.

As for Uncle Joe, can you just see the gaffmeister making delicate diplomatic negociations?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

So.... How's Penny faring, Stilt? Will she be ready to run against Biden in '16, ya think? I have no doubt she's more intelligent, a female, and would quickly find favor with PETA and most animal rights groups - a shoe in.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I apologize for my relative silence in these comments, though I've enjoyed reading them. I've just been too pressed for time to make any replies.

Happily, the reason I've been too busy isn't that there's anything wrong - I'm just juggling my time between creating new content for tomorrow, and continuing to train Penny the Hope n' Change dog to do her "bidness" (as we say here in Texas) outdoors.

She's doing great, by the way, and growing like a freaking weed.

And yes, she's already smarter than Joe Biden.