Friday, July 3, 2015

A Fourth to be Reckoned With

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Hopefully no readers of Hope n' Change will be wrestling with Lefty Lucy's dilemma this holiday weekend (or her tendency to be distracted by shiny objects).

Rather, it's a time to celebrate all that is great and good about this magnificent country, despite the occasional rotten apple in the White House...

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Barry's correct, unfortunately. Thanks to his anti-employment, "spread the wealth" policies we now have the lowest workforce participation rate since 1977, and over 93 million people who aren't in the work force (and, of course, don't even exist as far as unemployment calculations are concerned). And who knows, maybe a lot of them really do believe that the 4th is "in dependence" day. That's certainly what their votes would indicate.

But those worries are for another time. For now, let's forget our troubles, fly the flag, quaff a cold beer, and celebrate this glorious holiday with family, friends, and a very patriotic gal...

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Happy Fourth of July everyone!  -Stilton

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Helter Shelter

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As our nation's anniversary approaches, it's hardly surprising that so many Americans are thinking about bunkers rather than burgers for the big holiday. After all, it's been a rough couple of weeks thanks to the Supreme Court, Isis, and the other usual troublemakers.

The Supreme Court is leading the pack, with recent decisions which are amazingly consistent with the Liberal agenda if not the bruised and battered Constitution. According to the Court, you can now be guilty of racial discrimination even if you didn't practice racial discrimination. Obamacare is now sure to finish off the private health insurance industry thanks to John Roberts pulling a decision out of his Supreme hiney.

The ruling affirming gay marriage came as a shock to many (full disclosure: Hope n' Change has supported gay marriage longer than Hillary and Barry combined, but on a state by state basis - not the crazy judicial overreach seen here. This decision really will be a threat to traditional marriage and traditional religious protections.)

But wait, there's more! The rascally Justices then blocked a law which would make it harder to abort little cowboys and cowgirls in the Lone Star State, and then followed up with a decision saying that the states will now be forced to accept Federal voter registration forms for Federal elections even though the Feds don't bother to verify the citizenship of the applicants.

Meanwhile, ISIS has been going on a killing spree overseas to celebrate the one-year anniversary of their caliphate, and uncharacteristically strong warnings (violet level on the new rainbow threat assessment scale) are being issued by Homeland Security, saying that there is a significantly increased risk of terror here at home during 4th of July celebrations.

Far less important, but still threatening, the Left has discovered the jihad-style joys of banning offensive imagery under threat of professional death (just ask the poor cop who lost his job for wearing a pair of confederate flag boxer shorts). Mind you, Hope n' Change has no particular love for the Confederate flag - but now that the liberals have tasted blood, you just know they're going to go on a banning frenzy.

For all of these reasons and more, the notion of hunkering down underground with friends, family, a clattering generator, and some tasty emergency rations on Independence Day doesn't seem like such a terrible idea. And remember, after displaying your American flag in the yard and taking a few moments to thank all of those who've fought for our liberties, there's no better way to celebrate the fourth than with a fifth. Not this year, anyway.

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As thanks for their hard work, we suggest a taxpayer-funded 
Bolivian bus vacation for the Supreme Court.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Barrying The Dead

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It now seems that the shooter in the Charleston, SC church massacre did not act alone. Because according to Barack Obama's eulogy for the victims, God is the unindicted co-conspirator.

In his remarks, the president asserted that the killer was actually being used by God to help raise awareness of a host of issues which just happen to perfectly align with Mr. Obama's political agenda and clear distaste for white people.

The president warmed up the crowd by reminding them "over the course of centuries, black churches served as hush harbors, where slaves could worship in safety. Praise houses, where their free descendants could gather and shout “Hallelujah.” Rest stops for the weary along the Underground Railroad. Bunkers for the foot soldiers of the civil-rights movement."

All well and good - but it was only preamble. Knowing that there's no political hay to be made from a single racist lunatic acting alone, it was then necessary for the president to make this punk killer into something larger and more universal...

"We do not know whether the killer of Reverend Pinckney and eight others knew all of this history, but he surely sensed the meaning of his violent act. It was an act that drew on a long history of bombs and arson and shots fired at churches, not random but as a means of control, a way to terrorize and oppress."

Having made the connection, and establishing that he was speaking for God (Who apparently uses both murderers and lying political weasels as His messengers) Obama ticked off the things that the Almighty hoped to accomplish with His bloodbath: the end of public displays of the Confederate flag, more government spending on schools, less poverty (i.e. "income inequality"), changes in police training and equipment, and greater leniency for those black men "caught up" in the criminal justice system.

Also on God's list of demands, evil white employers shouldn't favor a job application from "Johnny" over one from "Jamal," voter ID laws are an abomination which must be cast into the fiery pit and, unsurpisingly, "we express God's grace" by supporting tougher gun control laws.

All in all, Hope n' Change thinks Obama did a masterful job (as usual) of saying one thing while implying the exact opposite; of using words which sounded healing while they ripped open and salted old wounds. Words which had the semantic ring of faith, but the clearer tones of division and crass political opportunism.

Frankly, we don't think that it was God's plan to take advantage of these horrendous murders. We think that's more Mr. Obama's style.

Nor do we think that the president, who has religiously avoided church attendance ever since the good old "God DAMN America" days spent with Reverend Jeremiah Wright, was in any way speaking for the Almighty.

Rather, Obama was mixing his lies with truth - a skill which comes from another source entirely.