Friday, May 13, 2016

The Gloves Are Off

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Yesterday Donald Trump met with House Speaker Paul Ryan to discuss their divergent political perspectives and they didn't kill one another - which was enthusiastically described as "very promising" by the increasingly dyspeptic GOP Chairman, Reince Priebus.

And if you think Hope n' Change is going to say more than that about anything related to Donald Trump today, you've got another think coming. It's Friday, and we all deserve a quiet weekend.

We will, however, point out that we've always suspected the name "Reince Priebus" is actually a poorly disguised anagram. Is it mere coincidence that exactly the same letters are found in the phrases "Bicep Rein User," "Rube Rice Penis" and "Eerie Curb Nips?" We think not.

"Reince Priebus" can also be rearranged to spell "Bi-Creep's Urine," which segues perfectly into our next subject...

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In news that we can only assume will have Mississippi and North Carolina jumping for joy, Baltimore Mayor Stephanie "Death Glare" Rawlings-Blake has declared that she won't authorize the travel of city officials to states which don't allow people wearing shoe-mirrors to flip a coin as their preferred method of deciding which bathroom to use.

Rawlings-Blake is, of course, most famous for her asinine policy decision to pull back police in order to give "space" to rioters and arsonists in Baltimore "who wish to destroy." Which worked great, by the way, assuming that you find smoldering rubble to be a tourist attraction.

Apparently, restrooms are the next sacrificial "space" that this bitter, self-important idiot wants to give away to placate those who "wish to destroy" - in this case, the innocence and privacy of others.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Nuke Nuke Joke

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Their tiny tanks never stood a chance.
Yesterday, Barack Obama confirmed plans to be the first sitting president to visit Hiroshima while wearing lead-shielded underpants.

His purpose is, by wild coincidence, to tell the world how awful nuclear proliferation is (except, say, in Iran) but he reportedly has no plans to specifically apologize for the bombs which ended World War II with impressive finality.

Still, his visit is seen internationally as an acknowledgement that America once did a very, very mean thing and, now that many young Americans have no freaking sense whatsoever of history, we feel just awful about it. Come here, Hiroshima - you need a hug!

By the way, as long as we've mentioned people being increasingly clueless about history, the link above goes to a story in US News & World Report which reports that we dropped a hydrogen bomb on Hiroshima on August 6th, 1945.  Which was a pretty good trick, considering that the first hydrogen bomb (1000 times more powerful than the Hiroshima bomb) was test-detonated seven years later in 1952.

But hey, why let little things like empirical facts and actual history spoil a story about what assholes we were back in the 1940's? And for that matter, why should those realities deter Barack Obama from his latest strident stop on the seemingly unending "blame America first" tour?

After all, he's not going to become Secretary General of the UN without campaigning for it.

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Monday, May 9, 2016

Trump L'oeil


No matter where you stand on Donald Trump, we hope you'll read the entire commentary today. We have a message for both sides.

First, something for the passionately pro-Trump voters who are angry with those still on the fence...

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In "The Art of the Deal," we're pretty sure that Donald Trump didn't suggest "scream at the other person and call them a traitor until they agree to your terms." Yelling doesn't help. Yes, a plurality of Republican voters has said they want Trump to be the nominee, and he clearly will be.

But for him to have even a chance of winning, people who don't yet support The Donald will have to find reasons to like him (or at least accept him). And they'll need reasons to believe that he no longer supports the political positions he's espoused and/or funded in the past.

If you support Trump, then why not have faith that in the coming months his good qualities will become apparent to everyone? And why not turn down the volume on your attacks on other conservatives so we can hear what Mr. Trump has to say?

Now, for all of those who define themselves as "Never Trump"...

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Not to be unsubtle, but with Hillary Clinton cackling in the wings, declaring yourself to be in the "Never Trump" camp is insane.  If you don't want to support Trump on election day, so be it (we're still unsure about it ourselves). But why make up your mind now and declare that you'll reject all further evidence and developments?

A lot can happen in half a year. Legal troubles could take Hillary out of the race. Obama might (and surely will) further degrade the country. The economy could crash, and terror might again scar our nation.

Or on a more positive note, over the next 6 months we might see The Donald assemble a stellar team to take into the White House, hear refinements to his bold plans that make them practicable, and get greater insight to his character and complexity of thought.

Hope n' Change doesn't know which way things will go and neither does anyone else. So let's all take a deep, cleansing breath and agree that unity will be necessary to beat Hillary, but such unity will take time to develop naturally.

Neither adversarial aggressiveness nor intractable close-mindedness will help that process.

ABOUT TODAY'S TITLE

If our punning title left you scratching your head, allow us to explain. There is a style of art (traditionally murals) called Trompe L'oeil - which is French for "Deceive the Eye."

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The idea is to create a nearly 3-dimensional illusion of grandeur, when the reality is that the decorative urn, Greek columns, or window looking onto a magnificent Mediterranean vista is only the depth of a coat of paint.

And that's where we're at right now with Trump L'oeil - trying to separate the illusion from the reality.